Why I left.
I left because his hatred for me could cure cancer. That amount of energy, determination, and drive could easily cure cancer.
He hated my friends.
He hated that I showered too much or too little.
He hated my job.
He hated my business.
He hated that I kept our baby.
He hated my hair color.
He hated my pubic hair.
He hated my leg hair.
He hated my height.
He hated that I wanted to be more.
He hated that I wanted to have value.
He hated that I wanted to give to others.
He hated how I parented.
He hated that I didn’t yell.
He hated that I put our baby first.
He hated my dog.
He hated that I wanted a degree.
He hated that others valued me.
He hated that I could be loved.
He hated that I loved farming.
He hated that I wanted to support others.
He hated that I was the breadwinner.
He hated that even without a degree, I was the breadwinner.
He hated that I would come home when I wanted to not when he wanted me to.
He hated that I valued museum memberships and zoo memberships.
He hated that I wanted to travel and could without him.
He hated that I didn’t do things the same way as him.
He hated that I wouldn’t eat dairy or gluten because I’m allergic to them.
He hated that my son is also intolerant to gluten and dairy.
He hated that our son had a benign heart murmur.
He hated that our son looked like me.
He hated that our son loves me.
He hated that he didn’t know where I was all the time.
He hated that he didn’t know who I was talking to all the time.
He hated that I had freedom.
He hated that could buy whatever I want whenever I want.
He hated that I worked out of the home.
He hated that he didn’t know my boss or my coworkers and couldn’t use them to know what I was doing or where I was.
He hated that others looked up to me.
He hated that others sought me out for advice.
He hated that I could live without him.
He hated that I didn’t depend on him.
He hated that I could love him despite all of his faults.
He hated that I saw the good in him and challenged him to be better every day.
He hated that I held him accountable for his actions.
He hated that I created boundaries with him that supported a healthy relationship.
He hates that I persevered through his destruction.
He hates that I found someone to love and someone who loves me.
He hates that I found freedom from him.
He hates that what I have can’t be his.
He hates that I can be happy without him.
He hates that he can’t get away with my murder anymore.
I lived with this man for just 3 months after giving birth to his child. I supported him.
In return, he did everything he could to destroy my dignity, self-worth, identity, and more.
He took our child from me, manipulating and steering conversations with DCF and Family Court to the point where I have no contact with my child because a DCF worker perjured herself on the stand based on his ideas, “evidence,” and lies. Because of his capabilities he was believed even though she talked to my employer, she knew that I had a home and she knew that all the dirt she “had” were lies.
I created a $140K business in the year that he caused the most destruction that he could. I was successful that year despite all that he did to try to destroy me and I continue to push forward despite his attempts to continue to bring me down (he’s now going after me in federal court and potentially civil).
I doubt he will ever stop. But, I know that I can protect myself from him, despite the lack of support from police and courts, and that I can be happy despite all that he does.
Those two things he can never take away from me.
